iFester Online

Bless me WordPress for I have sinned. It has been one month since my last blog entry.

A lot can happen in a month when you’re a tech-fiend. I’d use nerd or geek, but honestly - it just stays in tone with this evil, dark, dark, evil theme I got going for the site. Which is completely fake of course.

So let’s see, my computer was stuck in a half-life state due to Windows XP Service Pack 3. I wasn’t getting any sound and video working so out of panic (or excuse for a 4 year old system) I just bought the parts to a new one and and had it assembled. I’d like to thank Tiger Direct for their fine pricing and service. On top of that, my printer malfunctioned to the point of me wanting to Office Space its ass, but I couldn’t find the baseball bat. Needless to say, I ended up getting an all-in-one instead.

This could lead to some future endeavors. I’ve been meaning to start sketching again as it’s been years so maybe scanning in some line art and working on a web comic might be in the cards.

Now, let’s pray I don’t have anymore technology based probl-

Microsoft claims the 360’s power and features go full circle on all aspects - including it’s ability to confuse the frak out of fans!

Rumors of Blu-ray integrated 360’s to be launched near years end to compete with Sony have been sending hope to fans not wanting to pay bloated marketplace rental fees for an inferior HD experience. Rumors would then be squashed only to return to headlines to be squashed again.

The truth - the Xbox 360 is a “work in progress” console with multiple personality SKU’s. Early adopters are just guinea pigs while Microsoft concentrates on it’s software library. Unfortunately concentrating on one’s software library leads to XBLA congestion and de-listing while hardware suffers “the ring”.

One insider source hints at “an E3 announcement” of a Blu-ray 360. Is the effort too little too late? How many SKU’s will be released until they get it “right” when people willing to wait on quality titles can go into a store this day to buy a Playstation 3 with everything they need for a true HD experience, minus in-game XMB and full featured online.

Are all these consoles really good for the market for us consumers to have a full featured entertainment experience? How many asses does it take to kiss to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Uniconsole? The world may never know.

It has been a watchful few days. I managed to take up Blockbuster on a few coupon offers and rented some movies I had wanted to see for quite some time. I’ve broken down my ratings which can be found under the pages section to the right. Now, without further adieu, some mini reviews for your reading pleasure.

National Treasure: Book of Secrets

I really enjoyed the first film with all its far-fetched conspiracy theories and riddles. I immediately jumped on this once it came out on the rental shelves. All the elements from the first film are there, as you already know the characters, plus the introduction of a few new ones. Though I enjoyed the premise of this film, it didn’t capture me as much as the first. Some elements felt much more over-the-top, convenient plot twists, and a villain more humane and sympathetic that leads you to question why there was any real danger for our protagonists. It’s still an amusing popcorn movie that I recommend.

The Golden Compass 

Having devoured the Harry Potter series I’ve tried to get into reading His Dark Materials. I opted to watch the first film in the trilogy as I was curious how it translated to screen. Though I enjoyed the premise of the film with Daemons as animal spirits, I felt I couldn’t relate to the world as a whole. Perhaps the pacing was slow and the acting dry from all involved. As an introduction to the world and to the dangers within it, I’m certain the second film will be better, I will return to the books, and I know they will be much more fleshed out. I will say this, computer animated animals are looking absolutely amazing!

1/2

El Orfanato

This is an excellent Spanish film. The story revolves around a woman’s return to the orphanage she grew up in before being adopted. The home, now bought by her and her husband to raise their son and other orphans hides many secrets. It’s difficult to mention more of the plot without giving away any possible spoilers, however it’s an excellent thriller that deals with as much human frailty and strength to seek out the truth as it does any supernatural happenings. Highly recommended.

1/2

Vexille

For all you anime fans of Appleseed: Ex Machina, get ready for another 3D animated with a cell-shaded twist of high-octane goodness. In the future, robots are among us and the fear of android research leads the UN to outlaw any country of doing so. Japan, outraged, cuts off all ties to the UN and shields itself from communication while still exporting Robotics to the world. 10 years later, an espionage group known as S.W.O.R.D is tasked with infiltrating Japan to lift the veil of secrecy. What they find is far from what they expected. The production value of this film is top notch and the story is quite intriguing with the theme of humanity and machine. Granted the dubbing isn’t perfect, but it’s not worse than other anime films I’ve watched. If you’re into this style of filmmaking, I’m certain you won’t be disappointed with this feature.

Return to House on Haunted Hill

First rule of haunted house sequels, make the house resemble that of the first movie. Other than the exterior shots and perhaps one entrance shot recreation, everything else is just a spooky hallway or room. This film is so generic from the use of gore to the unmemorable characters that don’t seem to care if a friend was just butchered. The plot is forgettable and unworthy of mention. I think I’m now dumber from experiencing this.

It’s wondrous the technology we’ve had for customizing our own music mixes. From dual cassette tape players to digital downloads off iTunes we’re pretty spoiled by the way we can present our favorite samplings, be it for ourselves or listening to them on road trips with family or friends.

Only recently with printable media and resources off the web am I able to truly have fun in the whole custom mix process. The following is a combination of royalty free images from the stock.xchng, free fonts available from dafont, purchased music from iTunes and a little fiddling in Photoshop. For CD cover templates, you can find them here.

Tracklisting

1. The Movie - Aerosmith  
2. Baluchitherium - Van Halen  
3. Drive - Gary Hoey 
4. Nottingham Lace - Buckethead  
5. Summer Song - Joe Satriani 
6. Trinity (feat. Kirk Hammett & Robert Randolph) - Santana  
7. Still I’m Sad - Rainbow  
8. What Mama Said - Jeff Beck  
9. Switch 625 - Def Leppard  
10. Zap - Eric Johnson 
11. Eclipse - Yngwie Malmsteen  
12. Emerald Eyes - Jimmy Page  
13. Pipeline -Anthrax 
14. The Ultra Zone - Steve Vai 
15. Scuttle Buttin’ - Stevie Ray Vaughan & Double Trouble  
16. Love Power from the Mama Head - George Lynch  
17. Into the Arena - Michael Shenker Group  
18. The Finish Line - Michael Angelo Batio 

It’s Gabe and Tycho day! Any gamer unfamiliar with this duo’s work is missing out on a great web comic entitled Penny Arcade that’s truly geek at heart. Speaking of heart, they also endorse Child’s Play which helps to get games in the hands of sick children’s hospitals and also host an annual gaming convention know as the Penny Arcade Expo (or PAX - not to be confused with the airborne toxin that created the Reavers in the movie Serenity).

Today also marks the release of their first video game for PC, Mac, Linux and Xbox Live Arcade. *Deep breath* Penny Arcade Adventures: On the Rain Slick Precipice of Darkness - Episode One is an RPG with a combination of 3D gameplay and 2D comic style elements.

I’ve recently played the demo off the Xbox Live Marketplace and am really impressed by the quality and fun to be had in a mere 166MB download. The title reminds me a bit of the old Lucasarts adventure titles such as the Monkey Island and Maniac Mansion series as far as 2D and humor goes, but with modern cartoon 3D animation and role-playing stats.

The only downsides: first, the game (at least the XBLA version) is formated for 16 x 9 displays. Anyone playing on a 16 x 10 LCD monitor will have black lines above and below. I’m sure when and if Microsoft releases an update to support monitors of that size the issue will be resolved. Secondly, and a lot of people are remarking this, the $20 (or 1600 Microsoft Points) price tag per episode. With four episodes to be had that’s more than the price of a retail game, hence the assumption only hardcore Penny Arcade Fans will purchase the title.

I admit I was also apprehensive about the purchase, but there’s obviously a lot of work put into this title and its charm I think will make you laugh and appreciate it from the demo alone. I’ve spent money on retail games that I wish I hadn’t, so here’s hoping people will overlook the price point and just have a good time. That’s what gaming is all about afterall. Click on the title link above for more info.

I don’t normally buy magazines and those I do are usually recycled after reading or given to the library for others to read. It was just by chance that I eyed this while looking for a greeting card at my local Wal-Mart. I must say it’s a nice little treasure trove of information for new and existing Xbox 360 owners.

It’s got a little bit of everything for everyone. Want to get your girlfriend into gaming? They’ve got some suggestions to ease them into the hobby. Want to learn to be a better Halo 3 player and Forge designer? Check out their in-depth section. Perhaps, you’d like to make Bioshock cupcakes, game related papercraft or raise your gamerscore by thousands in little time. Flip on through friends.

There’s plenty of reading to be had and only for the price of one Xbox Live Arcade title. New to the whole Xbox 360 experience? Start here and learn who and what conduct to avoid to make your experience less jaded. There’s also info on error codes and picking the right HDTV. So what are you waiting for? Check your local news stand now. Hurry, issue will only be displayed until June 24, 2008.

The following blog post was paid for by me as I bought the magazine. If any employees of Future happen to read this and are content with my selling skills, please contact me for information on how I can haz pay.

I just had to make note of this for the sheer hilarity in case the score on the right of my blog has changed. This is the result of playing Lost: Via Domus, which oddly enough incorporates numbers as misfortune. Now, I’m not a very superstitious person, but the combination of 13 and 666 (being of course the number of the beast to some) was a complete fluke. Anyone that looks at my achievements in Lost will notice I require one more for 1000/1000 gamerscore. The game was due back at the rental store and the remaining 10 points would require me to play the game a second time. I had no desire to do so; I’m hoping the numbers don’t catch up with me.

[The following article deals with (im)mature humor. Reader discretion is advised.]

So after 18 months of searching and not wanting to subject myself to eBay anal pricing, I managed to buy a Wii on Friday.

It’s a nice white box, has Wii written on it in its cute cursive lettering. The inside packaging has a nice calming blue to make you think this is going to be a nice fun and innovative experience.

Hooking things up wasn’t a chore really, just the placement of the censor bar.

I was set, I was excited. I own a 360, PS3, PSP and whatever other gaming acronym I can think of - I was hyped.

Press the power button on, greeted by kiddie music…

Where’s my cursor? Where’d my cursor go? Wave my arm around, nothing. Back away from the TV - there it is. Okay, let’s set this up?

Confirm? Why isn’t the cursor going to the confirm button? Why can’t I just use a God-damned analog stick to navigate the ****ing menu system? I thought that moving my arm around was for games!

Surely this was Nintendo’s plan all along! Innovation = make you wave your arm around frantically and looking like an idiot trying to navigate it’s cutesy screen that’s wanting to look like Apple.

I finally get around to Wii Sports and sure it’s fun, it’s different but does it make me want to try other games? NO!! Because I have to go back waving my damn arm around on the Wii Channels like the idiot I am.

No sir, I don’t like it. Even the channels with their cute little Mario download screens, made me feel so 80’s and not in a nostalgic way.

Back to the store you go little Wii, I regret you are not for Mii. I pray some soccer mom finds you someday so the wiimote rumble can make you…

A few weeks back I had a community invite from Xbox Canada for a sneak preview of Ninja Gaiden II which will be hitting shelves on June 3rd. I was also asked to do a write-up for Xbox Canada’s web site which I’m quite proud to inform has been posted today. Those of you that stumbled onto my blog from the article, welcome! It’s not much but it’s home. Others that would like to read my thoughts on Team Ninja’s upcoming game, you can do so here.

So I picked up a copy of World of Warcraft today as I had tried a trial of the game and have a few friends playing it. If you look at the added image, you can see my weariness to installing the game. The only other MMO I’ve ever played was City of Heroes and really enjoyed it. My only problem is the re-occurring monthly fees attached to these games. Picking up a retail copy for a reasonable price feels like “just enough for a taste” to get you hooked. Good thing I have two consoles, a handheld and like having items I can keep, otherwise I might not be writing this. I’ve got 30 days, if I write up an update stating I bought a time card, the the Horde has already won.

[update] Um… I bought the expansion and a time card.